Staggering blindly, hands outstretched, onto your screen.
Hello? Is anyone there?
Oh. Just you. OK. It’s a start.
The first thing I’d like to tell you is that, the day after I finished my novel, ‘The Blanks,’ which you will soon be able to read excerpts from, my space bar stopped working. It was toast-related. There may have been some jam. So now whenever I write anything, I either have to hit the bar REALLY BLOODY HARD or just go back and putspacesintoverylongwords. It’s fairly annoying. It could be a sign that I should stop writing. Or stop eating toast, perhaps.
Anyway. Do you want to read some of my book?